What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? What does a cat have that no other animal has? A: She had a litter of mittens. ... use one of these creative quotes too. A: An aunt-eater! The librarian says, “It rings a bell, but I don’t know whether it’s there or not”. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and drop it? Upon asking for the man’s driver’s license, the … A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cat. I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws. How long do cats live? … I was the only one without a cat. The Gym is like Church. What did the cat say when he lost all his money? Huge list of some great quotes from your favorite people, movies, and shows. That’s just claw-full. Let me tell you a tail. 1. when your asian neighbors have a barbecue Claw Enforcement. I think it was a dandy lion. Here's 38 jokes about the little tigers that are sure to have you smiling. Out of my mind. They didn’t all bring their wallets, I ended up paying the lion’s share. I'm-paws-sible. Nothing's easier than a simple one-liner. Q: What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it. Lloyd Alexander Every movie has a quote that stays with you. After dark, all cats are jaguars Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? I love coming up with cheesy quotes from shows and movies to put in cards and emails. I have a friend. If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? When he turns into his cage! He’s Sabrina’s companion, and he’s always available to offer witty comments and advice. Inspired designs on t-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more by independent artists and designers from around the world. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you. He keeps trying to convince me he’s a compulsive liar, but I don’t believe him. We miss you. She had mittens. What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An aunt-eater! Because he’s in a bad mewd. The doctor replied: “Because you had a lab report and a cat scan.”. Mice Krispies. The Black Cat Questions and Answers - Discover the eNotes.com community of teachers, mentors and students just like you that can answer any question you might have on The Black Cat 12. He looks like a leopard now. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You. One day you’re the best thing since sliced bread. He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it. Think he was a cheetah. Frog One Liners . Maybe he’s not ripe yet.” A cow says to a small kitten, "Look at you, so small and already such long facial hear." I never married because there was no need: I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband – I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night. What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order? Feb 15, 2019 - Explore Miriam Lehr's board "Epic one liners" on Pinterest. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: “Pint please, and one for the road!” My email password has been hacked. They really spoil that cat. Here are 60 funny, clever, and oh-so-smart one-liners that are perfect for any occasion. You've never seen a cat have sex… nobody has; the Discovery Channel hasn't caught that. I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws. What did the cat on the smart phone say? Unlike the dog, the cat's personality is never bet on a human's. 25 Touching Quotes to … I saw a big cat wearing a very flamboyant hat and cape the other day. The trouble with a kitten is that it eventually beomes a cat. When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as if the strings are still in the cat. by Hawthorn Mineart, under One-Liners. All sorted from the best by our visitors. : Can you hear meow? How did a cat take the first prize at the bird show? Their paws. Absolutely hillarious animal one-liners! Page 2. A: Kitty Perry Q: What do you call a cat in a station wagon? He set a new lap record. One cat says to the other, “It really is a strange color for a bird. Went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. One snowman asks another, “Do you smell carrots?” I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen. What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog? See more ideas about funny, funny quotes, bones funny. Dear Miss Hoover, you have Lyme disease. Here are some great one-liners for you to enjoy. One has claws at the end of its paws, the other is a pause at the end of a clause. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); (1821 – 1867) French poet, essayist & art critic, (1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor, Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist, (1962 – ) American English professor & writer under pen name Eloisa James, (1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer. Here are some One Liner Cat Jokes items I have now: Why don't cats like online shopping? They prefer a cat-alogue. A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. Cathletic. What is a cat’s favourite song? My legs don't know how to be as long as yours. In this selection we present you some of the best and funniest jokes we ever laid our eyes on. What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother's sister? Smooth Ruby One-Liners - simple intro to ruby one-liners; Ruby one-liners based on awk one-liners; Ruby … When is a lion not a lion? The topic for this week’s collection of puns and one liners is cat jokes. How do you know when your cat's done cleaning herself? Best One Liners Ever. Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you. A roaring success. A cat is the visible soul of a home. Principal Skinner, I got carsick in your office. What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching? My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats. He’s just like the rest of us. Oct 23, 2019 - Explore Cloudkarma's board "witty one liners", followed by 652 people on Pinterest. A: I'm paw! It was raining cats and dogs, and I fell in a poodle. Kitty Perry. A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel. Then please share it. What do you call a pile of kittens? One Liner Cat Jokes . See more ideas about Witty one liners, Drawings, Cute drawings. Cats have nine lives… which makes them ideal for experimentation. Huge list of some great quotes from your favorite people, movies, and shows. Too many cheetahs. Got invited to the neighbours for pre-Christmas drinks with nibbles. ... Red Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-liners How many cats can you put into an empty box? A terrified postman! She had a litter of mittens. My cat's name is Mittens. Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money? This snowflake tastes like fish sticks. Q: Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn? A home without a cat–and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat–may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title? Find out if one of your favorites made the list in our roundup of these famous, clever & memorable film quotes. After that, the box isn’t empty. From old favorites like Morey Amsterdam to … A child is a person who can’t understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten. Here are some great quotes for you to enjoy. High quality Quotes And One Liners gifts and merchandise. A Furrari. Why is the cat so grouchy? We think some of … What is the difference between a cat and a comma? Viewers can relate to Salem’s sarcastic humor. So, ‘Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive’ is an oft-heard and good one-liner that inspires people to be positive about life and makes you laugh. Why shouldn't you kidnap the kitten, Keanu? I'm paw! See how far you can go with a straight face, we dare you ;-). I’m a whisker away from completing my model of a cat. What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food? International Cat Day was a chance to celebrate our feline friends. A peeping tom. You’ve got to be kitten me. A cop stops a car with an elderly man. Everybody thinks that by going one hour, one day, they’ll erase what they did during the week. What kind of car does a cat drive? Moreover, they can always help you avoid silly moments of silence when you’re with your friends. Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? None, because they were copycats! What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? Perhaps one reason we are fascinated by cats is because such a small animal can contain so much independence, dignity, and freedom of spirit. Because it was afraid of the bark! When a cat ignores you, you think “that's on you” … when a dog ignores you, you think “you saw into my dark soul.” Aparna Nancheria (1982 – ) American comedian & actress A bis-cat. My lion impression went down well. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. Commit them to memory, and you'll have your friends laughing so hard they won't even remember why the conversation had lagged in the first place.. When you post a photo of your cat on social media, use one of these creative quotes too. All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours. How did a cat take first prize at the bird show? However, Salem the cat (voiced by Nick Bakay) is a fan favorite for his hilarious one-liners. List of quotes to use from shows, movies, etc. The purrpatrator. Hillary Kitten. An eskimew! One Line Status for Facebook. There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. 49 entries are tagged with cat jokes one liners. Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t? The next, you’re toast. He was a lion thief. You need to pay more attention to my pawsture. 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